Stand up on your tip toes with your right leg without balancing on anything and go back down. Repeat this 10 times. Sounds easy enough right?


Once I can do that, I can run again.


The problem is I can’t even do one. Each phase of my recovery has shocked me at how hard it is. I keep thinking, “I am a pretty athletic guy, this will be a breeze” It never is though. My PT has reminded me multiple times that there is not a harder surgery to come back from than a complete rupture of the achilles tendon. Having my tendon removed from the bone, split down the middle, “cleaned” and replaced” makes it even harder.


I have remained ahead of schedule with progress, I have remained relatively upbeat about the process. I do continue to feel frustrated with how hard simple things are. I do tend to get upset than I am not out enjoying these beautiful spring days on the trails.


“Lift yourself up with one foot.” I am a trail runner, mountain climber, fat biker, etc. I feel like I should be able to do these things. Yesterday I did 10 while using my arms to assist with about 50% of my bodyweight.


Progress for certain.


The end game here for me is to race again, but I am most looking forward to the hours in the woods with friends. I am looking forward to my heart pounding and laughing about how much more I sweat than anyone else. I am looking forward to sitting in a grassy field after a race and re-living some parts of the course with my fellow athletes.


I am looking forward to embracing my ability to do these things. I never felt I took them for granted before, but I can’t wait to appreciate it again.


I think some people like running. They like how it makes them feel, they like the fitness and even the weight loss or the ability to eat those extra cookies without worry of weight gain.


I am not one of those people. I love running. It’s in my blood. It’s part of who I am. I have been a runner since the day I was able to. I ran to school sometimes, then went to track practice, then home. I ran to visit friends. I even ran from my parents home to the hospital when my dad was sick. The run gave me the time to clear my head and my emotions.


I love running.


I miss running.


Next Thursday marks the day when I am not longer at risk to rupture the repair work done on my tendon. The bone has healed, the screws are locked in, and the tendon itself has scarred over and will be as strong as it was before. I am working my butt off to try to get my leg flexible enough and strong enough to start my journey back to running.


I know the trail ahead is long and full of obstacles to climb over. I just can’t wait to start it up again.


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