Today I took a phone call from the University of Rochester to go over all of my medical history as a lead in to my upcoming surgery. I have to say I am pretty happy to answer “no” to almost every single question they asked me. But the question about alcohol…. well…. beer… woops.
1 week from today I get a nerve block, I take some happy gas, and off to sleep I go as they slice, saw, drill, and stitch me back together.
I have run, and I mean actually run a few times in the past few weeks but I am so in need of this. Every step I have taken in the past few months has been a step with pain.
I am lucky, knowing for me that this pain is temporary. I have an end in sight and I have goals in mind. In February when I had the other leg done, and for a few months after, I was angry. I moped. I was a bit depressed. I gained a ton of weight… Like, so much that Flannel Friday is in jeopardy if I don’t go out and get a new, larger flannel.
This time, I am calm – I am ready. I am excited to move past this set-back and join my friends back in the woods. To climb stairs without a grimace. To wake up to pee at night and not wonder how much it will hurt on the way to the bathroom. To hike with friends and not be holding people up because I can’t move the way they are.
I recently read a post from Kobe Bryant to Gordan Hayward after Hayward broke his leg earlier this season. I was never a Kobe guy… let’s get that out there, but, this mindset notation is one that I believe in and I am going buy in on.
Be sad. Be mad. Be frustrated. Scream. Cry. Sulk. When you wake up you will think it was just a nightmare only to realize it’s all too real. You will be angry and wish for the day back, the game back THAT play back. But reality gives nothing back and nor should you. Time to move on and focus on doing everything in your power to prepare for surgery, ask all the questions to be sure you understand fully the procedure so that you may visualize it in your subconscious while being operated on and better the chance of it’s success. Then focus on the recovery process day by day by day. It’s a long journey but if you focus on the mini milestones along the way you will find beauty in the struggle of doing simple things that prior to this injury were taken for granted. This will also mean that when you return you will have a new perspective. You will be so appreciative of being able to stand, walk, run that you will train harder than you ever have. You see the belief within you grow with each mini milestone and you will come back a better player for it. Best of luck to you on this journey my brother #mambamentality always.
I have been through this surgery before. I know my personal pitfalls. I have a much more aggressive doctor than last time and my mind is stronger this time.
What I have never done prior to this is use my mind to get past things. from the day I saw this note I have done some research into visualizing. It seems to be a powerful tool and will be/is something I am practicing daily.
I can see being wheeled down the hall to surgery. I can see the cast, the scooter, the challenges to rise over. I can see the physical therapy room where I will take my first steps again. I can see the canal path and greenway that I will run my first steps again on. I can see the single track that will welcome me back as I bound over roots and climb hills at the same pace I was before all of this. I can see it. I can almost feel it. I can see the view from the top of the mountain, with friends and loved ones taking it all in and not waiting for me to get there with them because I will be there, step for step – smiling the entire way.
Mini goals being set to achieve the large goal of adventuring again with friends.
I have one week until the fix…..
I am ready to fly.