Harder than I thought

Last night at the Tuesday night trail workout, I came to a realization that these “runs” were not doing me any good at all. I never run at them. The workout is almost always hill repeats, and at my current weight – those suck. I basically walk up a hill because I am too heavy to run up them, and then I walk down because I am too heavy to run down them pain free.

I am 16 and 9 months removed from the surgeries on my legs. I was told each surgery would be a 12-15 month recovery time.

I figure based on how my right leg is today (16 months and totally fine) That is probably right. My left leg still swells and gets into some pain zones after an hour or so of activity.

Running though, I really thought I would be able to start running more by now. I did not think I would be at a point that is not even really beginner runner.

This has been way harder than I thought. Not harder than I was told, but much harder than I believed. I kept on making goals, setting goals, and missing targets and it is really hard for me.

There is a group on Tuesday that runs with the group I used to lead that has never known me as a runner. The overweight Race Director? They know that guy – but as a runner – nope.

That’s not to say I have not made progress, I surely have – – but I saw a couple running down Monroe Ave yesterday from my office window – They were fluid and smooth and ran like it was easy and free – I miss that feeling.

This has been really hard – Hoping to keep improving and to find that flow run again!

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